Dating in the Milwaukee Moonlight

Last Night January 29, 2012

I’ll admit, it was a little hazy.

This is also Friday’s post, but it’s better as a late post thanks to the story.

I just moved into my new place in the Lower East Side of Milwaukee and my roomie joined me last week. We wanted to have a party to welcome us to the neighborhood and to celebrate our freedom. We thought it would be a fun-yet-lowkey night and if it was boring at our place, we’d move to one of the many local bars.

We set up music, realized my MacBook wasn’t compatible with the HDMI output to put the computer on the TV so I went to best buy, bought the wrong adapter, brought it home, tried and realized it was the wrong adapter, called Apple, went to buy an adapter for an adapter so it would officially work. Then I went to Radio Shack to get an audio jack so I can actually hear the shit I put on the screen. In all, I spent way too much money and I was pissy and really just needed to not be doing what I was doing.

I bought booze. Lots of booze. I went home, mixed up some SkinnyGirl Margarita with Grenadine and started drinking early. I got pretty looking so I could actually attract a man and by the time Roomie and friends showed up, I was already one glass in.

Now here’s the thing with SkinnyGirl. They have small amounts of calories in each serving, but there’s quite a bit of tequila in them. When you drink a bottle, you tend to get a bit sloppy.

I played my first game of Beer Pong, won one game and barely lost the second.

I fell. Twice. The second time I don’t remember it.

Boys showed up at about 10:30 or 11. There was only one single guy and he wasn’t anywhere near interested in me.

After midnight we relocated to the bar. I almost got into my first bar fight because some chick called me fat as I walked up to the bar and I said something snarky and apologized for looking like a moron.

A cute boy bumped into me. We shook hands for five minutes. I learned his name was Joe. Within another two minutes he was touching my chest. He bought me a drink. By the time my drink was half-gone we were making out.

“Give me your phone!” I said. “Why?” he replied while half-assedly fishing through his pocket. “Because you’re cute,” which seemed to maleate him so he handed over his phone.

We relocated to another bar. He bought me a PBR. I commented how it tasted like piss. I have no idea how long we disappeared into a booth but his kisses were amazing. I felt his cold hand on the skin of my back. I heard someone behind me yell “GET A ROOM!” I leaned in the general direction of the screech and he pulled me back. I peeled myself off him momentarily, got his phone number, walked to the next booth to talk to my friends and when I turned back, seemingly two second later, he was gone.

Bar call happened shortly after that, we went to the Dog Haus and I was able to put food in my drunken belly. I stumbled home, holding onto a friend the entire way. I’m almost positive the front door was open the entire night because we walked in, I closed my door, stripped to my skivvies, turned on the electric blanket and passed the hell out. I sent one last text to Joe saying he disappeared and what the deuce.

He texted the next morning apologizing and we chatted randomly throughout the day. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again but he honestly was one of the best kissers I’ve ever had.